


Thoughts

by nepetasimp



Category: Homestuck
Genre: ADHD?, Anxiety, Bullying, Humanstuck, Kidstuck, Normal Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:13:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26874226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nepetasimp/pseuds/nepetasimp
Summary: Dirk’s a young kid. He does normal things kids do, draw, read, play. But for some reason, he doesn’t feel normal. Guess that’s what thoughts do to you.
Kudos: 8





	Thoughts

“What do you mean he,” Dirk hugged his plushie. At the moment he was sitting on the floor, leaning against a wall and secretly listening to his Brother talk to a doctor. Their voices were muffled, but Dirk could make out some of it. They were talking about him, that part was pretty obvious, he was told to get out of the room for fucks sake, and who separates a seven year old from their guardian without talking about them in ‘secret?’

He let out a small sigh and took the time to really look at the details of his plushie. It was a Rainbow Dash plushie, one of his favorite fictional characters. It had a few stains on it here and there and was fading to a dull blue, but he still loved it. His friend, Roxy, had given it to Dirk when they were younger, about five or such, and he had never left it alone since. Sometimes, he got bullied for still dragging it along with him, the bullying made him feel bad and insecure, but he didn’t tell anyone. He didn’t know if he was supposed to or not, and he didn’t want to be a tattletale.

“Ight, sounds good. Thanks, Doc.” Dirk glanced up at the sound of a door opening, there was his older brother, Dave. He had on a nice black hoodie along with some jeans and his shades. Dave had given shades like his to Dirk when he was younger, but instead of those Dirk liked the pointy ones. For some reason they made him feel comfortable and safe, they had a few cracks here and there which made them hard to see out of, but he wouldn’t give them away for the world.

“C’mon kid, we’re finally getting the fu- the frick outta here.” Dirk’s bro said, stuttering on not saying a curse word. Dirk didn’t exactly understand why he wasn’t saying fuck, though it was probably because they were in public and you couldn’t say those things around little kids. Dirk stood up, his plush falling to the floor as he got up. He turned and looked at the thing. It really needed to be washed, he noted, but he didn’t know if he would remember to do that. That was probably why it needed to be washed in the first place. Dirk bent down to pick it up, he wiped off some dirt from the floor and walked over to Dave, his shoes making little tap noises on the tile floor.

Dave picked Dirk up and placed him on his shoulders, the Rainbow Dash plushie placed on top of Dave’s head. They headed over to Dave's car. The thing was somewhat old, but it was at least driveable. Dirk couldn’t explain how many times he thought it would break down and they’d be stuck on the side of the road forever. Dirk got set down in the passenger seat. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be there, but who was to tell him that. Dirk buckled his seatbelt and waited for Dave to start the car, he swung his feet back and forth, trying to make shapes with them in the air as they drove, his thoughts wandering all over the place, but he kept quiet.

They soon got home to their apartment, it was tall and had a lot of stories. His room was higher up, about near the roof, which was nice since he liked to go there often. Dave grabbed his small hand and walked inside to the elevator. They mostly used the elevator, but every once in a while Dave would insist they take the stairs because, ‘we gotta get our exercise somehow, my little dude’ in Dave's words exactly. Dave was a good brother to Dirk, he wasn’t harsh on him like some kids' Dads at his school, and he wasn’t too soft on him either, so overall he was a good bro, Dirk was glad he had him as his brother. 

The elevator dinged, signaling that they were at the floor, so they got out. The two made their way to their floor, having to go up a couple steps before getting there. Dave opened the door and stepped inside, he took a deep breath and put his hands on his hips before turning around and telling Dirk to go to his room so he could clean a bit. Dirk nodded and headed to his room, his second favorite place in the world. He took the time that Dave was cleaning other parts of the house to look at how his room was now, there were comic books and toys around, along with several piles of clothes and such. His bed was facing away from the door, which his friend always teased him about since she thought it was weird that he had it facing away from the door. How would he be able to see if the monsters were going to get him if he couldn’t even see where they would come from, she would ask, and he would reply that he could see the window just fine and they would probably enter through there, so he had nothing to worry about.

On the wall he had many drawings of horses, which were his favorite animal, and in the corner was his puppet, Cal. Dirk considered him a friend, maybe his best friend he didn’t know, but Cal was a very good friend either way. Having seen almost everything in the room, Dirk headed towards his bed to sit down. He debated grabbing his tablet and playing a few games, but he didn’t feel like doing that. So instead, he grabbed some paper and colored pencils and began to draw. Dirk wasn’t the best at drawing, he knew that, but it was fun. He liked to draw designs and such. Not house designs, but designs for robots. Robots were cool, in his opinion, and someday he wanted to build one, even though that was probably impossible.

“Dirk, I’m going to work! I’ll be back before dinner! Probably!” Dirk heard Dave call to him. He yelled back an okay and continued drawing. There wasn’t much to do while Dave was gone. He guessed he could go back to the living room and watch TV. Dirk stood up and made his way to the TV. The living room was dim from the lack of lights, and was still messy, even after Dave cleaned it. Dirk didn’t mind though, it was home to him, and home was nice. 

He turned on the TV and sat down, his paper being placed to the side of him along with the pencil. Dirk reached for the remote and looked through channels, finally settling on a cartoon. Instead of reaching for his drawing, he let his mind wander. Dirk had school tomorrow, which was not going to be fun. School was like hell for him, and he wasn’t saying that to be dramatic like some of the other kids there, it was actually terrible. Of course, he did have friends. Some of them were good friends too, they made him happy from time to time, even though they would tease him a lot, he knew they were just playing around, so it didn’t bother Dirk much.

Other than that he hated school. But he assumed that was normal for kids his age. Or at least most of them. His friends seemed like they enjoyed it, from what he had seen, but maybe they were just different. The kids that teased him were a grade above him, which was strange, because normally they were supposed to ignore him, from what he had heard. Dirk pushed his thoughts away, he didn’t want to think about school at the moment, he’d much rather draw or watch TV.

It wasn’t until late when Dave got home. He looked like a mess, and was probably high or drunk or something, Dirk could never tell. Of course, since he was a bit out of mind, he didn’t care that Dirk was past his bedtime, which meant that Dirk would probably go to bed without Dave tucking him in. He didn’t mind though, it happened a lot, and the teacher never got too mad if he wasn’t paying full attention. Dirk waved at Dave and picked up his drawing to show Dave, the pencil being left on the couch. 

“Wha.. What’s up lil guy? Oh! Nice drawin’. It’s another one of your robots ain’t it?” Daves words were slurred together, which would make it hard for anyone besides Dirk to understand, but he could make out most of it and that was all he needed. Dirk smiled and nodded at the praise from Dave. He received a quick hug from Dave and a head scratch before heading back to his  
room to get ready for bed. At the moment it was one AM, that was odd, from what he remembered Dave mostly got home at twelve or twelve-thirty. Dirk reached back into his head to try and remember, but he couldn’t. That was ok though, it happened often and he didn’t really mind.

Dirk set his drawing on his desk and hopped into bed. He didn’t feel like changing right now. It didn’t really matter anyway, he could always get changed in the morning. He took his shades off and sighed. Dirk wasn’t feeling especially tired, but he did have to go to bed. He didn’t want the teacher to yell at him like last time, or get teased by his friends for getting to school late and not being able to play with them. Dirk turned onto his side, the bed creaking as he did so. All that was left was him and his thoughts. But he didn’t want to think, so he closed his eyes. Closing his eyes helped him sometimes. But it seemed as if this wasn’t one of those times. He groaned and sat up, maybe a drink of water would help him. 

The bed creaked once more as he stood up, he winced as he didn’t want to wake up Dave, but it was too late to stop the bed from creaking. He walked over to the small kitchen, Dave was seemingly asleep on the couch, so Dirk kept as quiet as possible. Dirk didn’t understand why, but whenever he was the only one awake in the house, he got very scared. Maybe it was the fact that something could jump out at any moment, or that if he didn’t do something exactly right, he would mess everything up, or that if he accidentally woke Dave up he would get hurt. The last one probably wouldn’t happen, Dave had never done anything like that in his life, but Dirk was still scared. 

He got the water and headed back to his room. He walked quickly, the fear that something was following him in the back of his mind. Dirk got back to his room and placed the water on his desk. He turned the already dim lights off and hurriedly jumped back into bed, his fears still there. Dirk let out a sigh of relief that he was safe under the covers and curled up into them. His eyes closed and he soon fell asleep, his thoughts creating dreams in his mind. Good ones, and bad ones.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah i was projecting my fears onto dirk what r u going to do abt it
> 
> sry if this is short i wanted to get it out soon   
> i promise the other chapters will be longer
> 
> Feel free to contact me on:
> 
> ❦ twitter: @nepetasimp  
> ❦ tumblr: nepetasimp  
> ❦ discord: a person#7118


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